Gone
by myhorserockyrocks
Summary: Severus is having a hard time dealing with Lily's death because he thinks that all hope is lost and that she is gone forever. This is the story, told by Severus, about when he agrees to join Dumbledore and protect Harry. Written for Round Four of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition.


**A/N: This was written for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition Round Four! Hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns all.**

**Title: Gone**

**Assigned Genre: Angst**

**Pairing: Severus/Lily**

**Prompts: #2- "Lesson learnt?" #9- Weekday #14- Black**

**Words: 1,583**

Severus was on top of a cold mountain. The wind whipped about him, sending his dark black locks flying in the wind. His expression was blank, almost lifeless, as he thought about what the Dark Lord had told him. "_I am going to have to kill them, Severus_," he had said, speaking of Lily Potter and her family, though especially her young son, Harry. Severus quickly wiped away the tear that fell, not wanting to look weak in front of the person he was trying to meet.

All of a sudden, a crack sounded, and Albus Dumbledore appeared out of nowhere in front of the young wizard. "Don't kill me," Severus said at once, noticing that the other man's wand was drawn and he looked ready for a duel to the death. "I have something to tell you," he continued, "something about… Well, about Lily." Dumbledore frowned and stowed away his wand, though Severus noticed that he still kept a firm grip on it from under his cloak. The dark-haired wizard took this as an invitation to elaborate.

"I am the one that overheard the prophecy Sybill Trelawney gave you, Professor Dumbledore," Severus began, waiting with bated breath for a reaction of anger from his old Headmaster. Dumbledore said nothing, and at last Severus continued. "I… I told to Dark Lord about it, and he's going to go after Lily!" Here Severus stopped, seeming to have nothing else to say until Dumbledore answered him.

"The prophecy spoke of a boy, Severus, not of a woman," Dumbledore answered, his eyes no longer twinkling as they had used to all those years ago, when Severus had been just a student at the famous school. "It was of a boy born at the end of July, foretold to cause the destruction and demolition of Lord Voldemort."

Severus frowned and shook his head frantically, growing more desperate for Dumbledore to understand the urgency of the situation. "No, you don't understand! He thinks it's her son!" Dumbledore's eyes widened, and Severus pressed on. "You have to hide them! Please! All of them, just hide them—I'll do anything, anything at all! I promise!"

Dumbledore sighed, and Severus noted that he looked older than he should have, almost. His shoulders were slumped forward and he looked exhausted almost, as though the war had aged him beyond his years. Severus supposed this had occurred to him as well, for he looked older than a man of twenty-one. "If you say you'll do anything, Severus, anything at all, then switch sides. Join the light. As I recall, you were a fabulous Potions student. It just so happens that I have a spot open for Potions Master at Hogwarts. Be my double agent, spy for me against Voldemort."

Severus sighed. He knew it was going to come to this. However, as long as Lily was safe Severus was willing to do anything he could, anything that Dumbledore wanted. "All right," he said, knowing that what he was doing was incredibly dangerous, but it didn't matter. _Lily is safe_, he thought, smiling as the image of her face popped into his head.

THREE MONTHS LATER

"You promised you'd keep them safe, Dumbledore! You promised, as long as I did everything you asked! And I did… I did…" Severus doubled over, tears streaming down his face. It was a Tuesday, and the worst Tuesday Severus had ever experienced. Him and Dumbledore were standing in Dumbledore's office, and Severus was confronting Dumbledore. He had just found out that after all of his promises, after all of his warnings, Lily Evans Potter was dead, just like that. She was killed by a man that he had once admired, looked up to. Now all he could think about was how that man was a cold-blooded murderer.

"Lily and James put their faith in the wrong person, Severus," Dumbledore answered, looking teary and battle worn as well. His whole stature was that of an exhausted person, though Severus didn't spare a second's glance for how Dumbledore looked. He was more concerned about Lily.

Lily had been Severus' first real friend. She had also been Severus' first true love, or his only love at that. She had been his rock, and then he'd thrown that all away when he'd called her that terrible word when they were fifteen, down by that large tree on the Hogwarts grounds. Severus had regretted that the second he'd said it. He'd wanted to say sorry, but Lily wouldn't hear it. She never spoke to him again, except to ask him if he could pass the Potions ingredients when they were in class.

Severus hated himself for calling Lily that word. He beat himself up for it, day and night. Now he had even more reason for hating himself. He couldn't say sorry. Lily would never know how he felt, how much it hurt for him to see her and James Potter holding hands or snogging in their seventh year at Hogwarts. She would never know how sorry he was as soon as that word popped out of his mouth. "_Mudblood._" Now Severus would never be able to tell her how sorry he was. She was gone.

"Lily has not vanished, Severus," Dumbledore said, breaking into Severus' thoughts. "Her son still lives."

"Oh, yes, the son," Severus scoffed, glaring at Dumbledore through his tears. "From what I've heard, the boy looks like an exact replica of James Potter. In case you can't remember, I _hated _him." With that, Severus strode toward the door, but before he could push them open and storm out to go grieve in peace, Dumbledore stopped him.

"He has Lily's eyes, Severus."

Severus turned and stared at his old Headmaster who was now his boss of sorts. He opened his mouth, about to say something, but then realized that it would be more beneficial to show Dumbledore himself. He wanted to express just how much he loved Lily, and just how angry he was at Dumbledore for not being their Secret-Keeper himself.

"_Expecto Patronum!"_ he shouted, and a brilliant silver doe sprung from his wand and raced around the room before it vanished completely. Dumbledore stared at the spot that it had vanished for about a second before he turned around to face the wizard that had cast it.

"Lily," he murmured. Severus nodded, trying his best to hold back tears at the mention of her name. "After all this time?" Dumbledore asked him, seeming not able to believe that Snape was really, truly in love with this witch.

"Always," Snape muttered, looking to the floor as tears rolled out of his eyes and down his cheeks.

"You can help me protect him," Dumbledore said abruptly about a minute later. "Make sure that Lily didn't die in vain. You can help her son live on. Believe me, by the time he reaches Hogwarts he will need all the protection he can get. The world will be a dangerous place for young Harry ten years from now, Severus," Dumbledore continued, trying to make him Severus' mind for him.

"Very well," Severus replied, knowing that this was the only way to show Lily that he truly loved her. "But never tell, Dumbledore! I can't bear the thought of anyone knowing that I am protecting Potter's son!"

"If you would never like me to reveal the very best of you, Severus, then very well. Your secret is safe with me," Dumbledore responded, and the two parted ways.

SEVENTEEN YEARS LATER: MAY 2, 1998

Severus felt his body freeze as he went in towards blinding light, the last words he'd ever spoken on Earth still burned into his mind—"_You have your mother's eyes_." He'd said them to her son, Lily Evans' son Harry. It was true. They were identical eyes.

When Severus felt himself stop moving, he opened his own black eyes and stretched his body out, realizing that he still had mobility in the afterlife. He also realized that he was still wearing his all-black robes, but that they were clear of all bloodstains from the bites from Nagini that had ended his life. He also heard laughter—her laughter.

She strode up to him then, her long, red hair and her almond-shaped green eyes just how he had remembered him. She looked his age, however, and didn't retain the youthful grin she'd had when she was twenty-one and had died. Severus supposed that this was how he imagined her, as a thirty-eight-year-old woman, and not as a twenty-one-year-old youngster. She was perfect.

"Thank you, Severus," she said, her voice sliding cleanly off her tongue. "Thank you for protecting my son." Severus smiled, and Lily smiled back before continuing. "Is your lesson learnt, Severus? Have you learned that following He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was a sill idea? Have you learned that not all Muggles and Muggle-borns are scum?"

"Lily, you were never scum. I don't know what I was thinking when I followed the Dark Lord. My lesson is definitely learnt." He paused as another thought struck him and then continued. "What are you doing here?" Severus asked, thinking that she'd be with James or something. He didn't think in a million years that she'd be the first person he saw when he died.

"I'm here because it is my job to lead you on," she said simply, and she helped him up before leading Severus away. He smiled. _This is how my life was supposed to be_, he thought. _She's not gone after all._


End file.
